It's so hard to believe the lack of support your daughter got, especially considering her location. For what it's worth I have a personal anecdote, and there's no way of knowing whether it was an outlier (though i suspect it was not at least for this school), but back about in about 2010 when the only work I could get (and I was lucky to get it) was substitute teaching, I was managing a 9th grade class in Irving TX, a suburb of Dallas, and the student population in this "good" lower socio economic school was roughly 85% Hispanic, 9% Black, 6% White, and a girl got his with her period mid-class and she was wearing white pants. She was mortified/terrified at the exposure to the point of being almost unable to hear anything I could say (which would've just mortified her more). And very quickly another girl told me to call the office and tell them to call her mother, and took her into the hallway where she waited for her mother to come get her. The whole thing was just wired in and no one questioned a single step, and I doubt she got any grief after the fact. It was impressive how they knew what to do and took care of it themselves.
That's the solution my daughter needed - quick portal to her mom! But I wasn't there for her unfortunately. It is too bad the other methods were all kind of rusty. Dispensers exist but are empty! Apparently the nurse had run out too. So we need a product fairy! We should def know how to do all this better at this point. Thanks for your story!
Yes and it's better if, like you were trying to do, to help your daughter toward independence. And also...how is this situation even possible? How can not even basic Human 101 needs like that not be covered at school.
I think a lot of it is intentional: as this is something that affects somewhere around half the planet, it SHOULD be common knowledge for EVERYONE, not just girls and women. But despite the #s, perhaps it is another aspect that affects women's lives that is seen as a "women's issue" by male-dominated society, and therefore not worthy of being brought out into the light.
I wonder if we should also never underestimate the vast squeamishness of American culture when it comes to bodily functions. Show us murders on TV, cool, cool, but make it real and something that happens all the damn time? Nah, ick. And those who "bleed" suffer the silencing this way as well.
And thank you for reading and caring! It does seem a very covert way to keep us down - better to have us distracted about our day-to-day functionality than have the bandwidth to stir up any trouble. Squeamishness - in face of TV murders - is so interesting and true too.
Menstruation. Menopause. Hormones. Thyroid issues. "Dryness". (See my own squeamishness here?)
Any man in a long-term relationship SHOULD know at the very least the basics of all of these (and more!) But instead, think of how many men know nothing, OR use the circumstances with all of them to minimize or worse, dehumanize their partner. ("Ah, it's just her time of the month". "She's on the 'rag'". Vile).
Knowing about these things, and being cognizant about their effects, makes relationships better, fuller, more equal. And all it takes is a little reading. Of course that's not what everyone wants.
I'd love to think we've advanced further than we have but I do have a habit of setting myself up to be disappointed...
It's so hard to believe the lack of support your daughter got, especially considering her location. For what it's worth I have a personal anecdote, and there's no way of knowing whether it was an outlier (though i suspect it was not at least for this school), but back about in about 2010 when the only work I could get (and I was lucky to get it) was substitute teaching, I was managing a 9th grade class in Irving TX, a suburb of Dallas, and the student population in this "good" lower socio economic school was roughly 85% Hispanic, 9% Black, 6% White, and a girl got his with her period mid-class and she was wearing white pants. She was mortified/terrified at the exposure to the point of being almost unable to hear anything I could say (which would've just mortified her more). And very quickly another girl told me to call the office and tell them to call her mother, and took her into the hallway where she waited for her mother to come get her. The whole thing was just wired in and no one questioned a single step, and I doubt she got any grief after the fact. It was impressive how they knew what to do and took care of it themselves.
That's the solution my daughter needed - quick portal to her mom! But I wasn't there for her unfortunately. It is too bad the other methods were all kind of rusty. Dispensers exist but are empty! Apparently the nurse had run out too. So we need a product fairy! We should def know how to do all this better at this point. Thanks for your story!
Yes and it's better if, like you were trying to do, to help your daughter toward independence. And also...how is this situation even possible? How can not even basic Human 101 needs like that not be covered at school.
Hello, KM! Love this essay.
I think a lot of it is intentional: as this is something that affects somewhere around half the planet, it SHOULD be common knowledge for EVERYONE, not just girls and women. But despite the #s, perhaps it is another aspect that affects women's lives that is seen as a "women's issue" by male-dominated society, and therefore not worthy of being brought out into the light.
I wonder if we should also never underestimate the vast squeamishness of American culture when it comes to bodily functions. Show us murders on TV, cool, cool, but make it real and something that happens all the damn time? Nah, ick. And those who "bleed" suffer the silencing this way as well.
Thank you for this.
And thank you for reading and caring! It does seem a very covert way to keep us down - better to have us distracted about our day-to-day functionality than have the bandwidth to stir up any trouble. Squeamishness - in face of TV murders - is so interesting and true too.
Menstruation. Menopause. Hormones. Thyroid issues. "Dryness". (See my own squeamishness here?)
Any man in a long-term relationship SHOULD know at the very least the basics of all of these (and more!) But instead, think of how many men know nothing, OR use the circumstances with all of them to minimize or worse, dehumanize their partner. ("Ah, it's just her time of the month". "She's on the 'rag'". Vile).
Knowing about these things, and being cognizant about their effects, makes relationships better, fuller, more equal. And all it takes is a little reading. Of course that's not what everyone wants.
I'd love to think we've advanced further than we have but I do have a habit of setting myself up to be disappointed...
you're a good one!!