When I was about 12 or well old enough to be left unsupervised by an outdoor cooking fire, I once kept count of all the hotdogs I ate in the course of an extended family afternoon at a state park beach. I’ll testify the number was fourteen. I don’t claim to recall either how many of those included buns or the exact duration of the intermittent experience. This was not speed eating, but some combination of gluttony and curiosity. I’ll further assert no puking was involved though the resulting discomfort was enough to deter any serious inclination to repeat the experiment, never mind trying to exceed it. Under the “right” (unsupervised) circumstances, I’m sure I might again eat eight, perhaps not all with buns. They seem to come in double packs of four each nowadays which is why and how many I downed the last time I roasted some on my own.
By the estimate I ended with above, I will avoid telling you how long you have left to live! I do believe my brother and I must have done similar with the Dunkin Donut buffet that was sometimes greeting us during the coffee hour after church; I may have tried every flavor once. Where were our parents in the 1980s, no one was stopping us. We were trained to binge eat at many all-you-can-eat restaurants. My pervading childhood memory is: feeling terribly full.
Ouch! Earlier this fall, I brought two dozen Dunkin’ Donuts (with heavy prejudice toward the chocolate frosted no sprinkle variety) to an “Ivy Day at the Committee Room” Canvas Staging Area for Harris/Wolz. I ended up eating most of them. Aside from myself, I entirely blame this on the unwholesome woke wholesomeness of my fellow volunteers and Debbie Wasserman Shultz who, it TURNS OUT, has a vacation lake home in a nearby NH township and who TURNED UP to give us a morning pep talk. Keeping my mouth stuffed with sugary fried dough forced me to avoid sounding her out on Gaza and what (for her) constitutes “self defense”.
As far as I know, I suffered no (short term) ill effects and with the help of a Harvard undergrad (whiz at MiniVan!) we covered nearly 50 Claremont addresses in near record time with only one bathroom break (brought on by Dunkin COFFEE — not donuts.)
Omg, both you and your beau look ahhhmazing 😍 I busted out laughing when I saw the pics. So creative, so unique. What a joy that must have been to see you both walking around the party.
Thank you so much for mentioning Mildred. ❤️🔥
Competitive eating has always given me the heebie jeebies and not the good kind I love. What happens to the body during and after an eating contest is truly horrifying. I had no idea.
That eating hotdogs can reduce a healthy lifespan by 36 minutes fact has convinced me to never eat another hot dog again. 😳 Expensive snack indeed.
If Michael Pollen can't do it, then I won't try. That's really not my intent here though - this is more for the costumes, comedy and that competition is just gross.
When I was about 12 or well old enough to be left unsupervised by an outdoor cooking fire, I once kept count of all the hotdogs I ate in the course of an extended family afternoon at a state park beach. I’ll testify the number was fourteen. I don’t claim to recall either how many of those included buns or the exact duration of the intermittent experience. This was not speed eating, but some combination of gluttony and curiosity. I’ll further assert no puking was involved though the resulting discomfort was enough to deter any serious inclination to repeat the experiment, never mind trying to exceed it. Under the “right” (unsupervised) circumstances, I’m sure I might again eat eight, perhaps not all with buns. They seem to come in double packs of four each nowadays which is why and how many I downed the last time I roasted some on my own.
By the estimate I ended with above, I will avoid telling you how long you have left to live! I do believe my brother and I must have done similar with the Dunkin Donut buffet that was sometimes greeting us during the coffee hour after church; I may have tried every flavor once. Where were our parents in the 1980s, no one was stopping us. We were trained to binge eat at many all-you-can-eat restaurants. My pervading childhood memory is: feeling terribly full.
Ouch! Earlier this fall, I brought two dozen Dunkin’ Donuts (with heavy prejudice toward the chocolate frosted no sprinkle variety) to an “Ivy Day at the Committee Room” Canvas Staging Area for Harris/Wolz. I ended up eating most of them. Aside from myself, I entirely blame this on the unwholesome woke wholesomeness of my fellow volunteers and Debbie Wasserman Shultz who, it TURNS OUT, has a vacation lake home in a nearby NH township and who TURNED UP to give us a morning pep talk. Keeping my mouth stuffed with sugary fried dough forced me to avoid sounding her out on Gaza and what (for her) constitutes “self defense”.
As far as I know, I suffered no (short term) ill effects and with the help of a Harvard undergrad (whiz at MiniVan!) we covered nearly 50 Claremont addresses in near record time with only one bathroom break (brought on by Dunkin COFFEE — not donuts.)
Well done! But better stay fit for the resistance, we're in for a wild ride.
Omg, both you and your beau look ahhhmazing 😍 I busted out laughing when I saw the pics. So creative, so unique. What a joy that must have been to see you both walking around the party.
Thank you so much for mentioning Mildred. ❤️🔥
Competitive eating has always given me the heebie jeebies and not the good kind I love. What happens to the body during and after an eating contest is truly horrifying. I had no idea.
That eating hotdogs can reduce a healthy lifespan by 36 minutes fact has convinced me to never eat another hot dog again. 😳 Expensive snack indeed.
So glad to give you a laugh and gross you out! Success all around!
I love your writing and your various topics!
But even Michael Pollen's graphic article on feed lots didnt convince me to give up beef for more than a few weeks. So nope, not quitting 😘
If Michael Pollen can't do it, then I won't try. That's really not my intent here though - this is more for the costumes, comedy and that competition is just gross.
We are a strange species.
Correct! Oh and happy thanksgiving, ha. (I'm having my first veggie one!)