I have a teacher friend who's commented on how the noise in the halls of her high school has changed. Where before there was this loud jubilant racket of voices (which I sure remember from mine), now it's much quieter, with so many students staring down at their phone silently while they walk.
On the subject of books re: going solo, I came across Fenton Johnson's "At the Center of All Beauty: Solitude and the Creative Life" maybe two years ago. It was the first time I'd ever experienced the sense that someone was writing about me personally. In it he compares artistic figures (he starts off with Walt Whitman and Emily Dickinson, which makes a fascinating pairing) who have a mystic streak, and shows how richly their lives are connected to the world around them, if not necessarily to a specific partner. He calls these people "solitaries" and also shares his own experience as a solitary, as a connective thread. For the record, he does say that some of the best relationships he knows consist of two solitaries who know how to respect each other's space. To kind of repeat, and what had a lot of meaning for me, was his perspective of these people not as loners or emotionally disconnected, but the opposite. Dickinson is shown so passionately activated by her one acre of the world that it's not surprising she didn't venture much farther as it would've no doubt overwhelmed.
That's really sad about the kids at school (I see that too just everywhere, like even when a kids are hanging out together in my basement...all on their phones :( and really beautiful about the solitaries. I think I'll have to include that on that part of this investigation and maybe even quote you! I think if I could just embrace that and be happy that's probably where I belong.
“Put that cell phone away and have dinner with someone who has something to say.” Kristi and I make a point of doing this. Earlier in our relationship, the ubiquitous cell phone often interfered until we made that rule.
I liked the comment about those rendered invisible by technology. It really made me think. I am sure that is true and that social media actually does more harm than good, particularly in those groups.
My article didn't get into the range of loneliness and how our youth and our elderly are lonelier than ever. I think teens bc too much tech is de-socializing them. And for our elderly the disconnect from it is. Both ends of the spectrum with similar results.
I love this so much and thank you for teaching me things about the (even more incredible) Dr. Ruth! As for loneliness, as you know it happens in relationships too and that can be almost worse than actually being alone? Maybe not worse but as bad, just different. Ok I’m ready for doll marriage next time!
Yes, I mention that - I feel way more lonely when I'm yearning for a person I'm sort of addicted to to be more for me than they are - being alone I have no such target so I can just enjoy the time!
I have a teacher friend who's commented on how the noise in the halls of her high school has changed. Where before there was this loud jubilant racket of voices (which I sure remember from mine), now it's much quieter, with so many students staring down at their phone silently while they walk.
On the subject of books re: going solo, I came across Fenton Johnson's "At the Center of All Beauty: Solitude and the Creative Life" maybe two years ago. It was the first time I'd ever experienced the sense that someone was writing about me personally. In it he compares artistic figures (he starts off with Walt Whitman and Emily Dickinson, which makes a fascinating pairing) who have a mystic streak, and shows how richly their lives are connected to the world around them, if not necessarily to a specific partner. He calls these people "solitaries" and also shares his own experience as a solitary, as a connective thread. For the record, he does say that some of the best relationships he knows consist of two solitaries who know how to respect each other's space. To kind of repeat, and what had a lot of meaning for me, was his perspective of these people not as loners or emotionally disconnected, but the opposite. Dickinson is shown so passionately activated by her one acre of the world that it's not surprising she didn't venture much farther as it would've no doubt overwhelmed.
That's really sad about the kids at school (I see that too just everywhere, like even when a kids are hanging out together in my basement...all on their phones :( and really beautiful about the solitaries. I think I'll have to include that on that part of this investigation and maybe even quote you! I think if I could just embrace that and be happy that's probably where I belong.
Quote at will. And check out that book - it really opened my eyes!
P.S. And remember - you can be a solitary and be with a person - it just has to be the right person.
Alone together! Yes, that's kind of the ideal. And different topic but perhaps always spread across two households is a good trick...
Yes, I've heard more people are doing this.
“Put that cell phone away and have dinner with someone who has something to say.” Kristi and I make a point of doing this. Earlier in our relationship, the ubiquitous cell phone often interfered until we made that rule.
It's so important. And I'm trying to do bedrooms as screen free too.
I lie to read too much on my Kindle at night to make that happen
at least that is very book-like, maybe that doesn't count ;)
Dude, Dr Ruth was/is a badass!
I passed this on to 2 friends :)
I liked the comment about those rendered invisible by technology. It really made me think. I am sure that is true and that social media actually does more harm than good, particularly in those groups.
My article didn't get into the range of loneliness and how our youth and our elderly are lonelier than ever. I think teens bc too much tech is de-socializing them. And for our elderly the disconnect from it is. Both ends of the spectrum with similar results.
If you listen closely, loneliness is always saying something.
so true
I love this so much and thank you for teaching me things about the (even more incredible) Dr. Ruth! As for loneliness, as you know it happens in relationships too and that can be almost worse than actually being alone? Maybe not worse but as bad, just different. Ok I’m ready for doll marriage next time!
Yes, I mention that - I feel way more lonely when I'm yearning for a person I'm sort of addicted to to be more for me than they are - being alone I have no such target so I can just enjoy the time!