I thoroughly enjoyed this article finding it both interesting and thought provoking. The “find your yes” was a great way to frame how to value your time.
“The dating apps train you to think less of humans rather than more, and to try to accept being treated badly in return” it is not just dating apps but the drive to polarized discourse with more extreme positions becoming the norm on the internet that has me occasionally disheartened.
Also. I really liked your “nonnegotiable qualities of kindness, integrity, consistency, for every person on every level of our lives”. I always try to live the Mahatma Gandhi “Be the change you wish to see”. More kindness, integrity and empathy are three of those things.
I found my "no" footing later in life than most, but it has been extremely rewarding, and I now consider it to be a superpower.
"Andrew, I know you don't do weddings, but I wanted to formally invite you anyway" Is like one of my favorite things to hear, and I just heard it yesterday.
That's the best that you established that, especially around weddings! What a great idea. (Lucky me, no one I know seems to getting married anymore as we are in our divorcing days. But maybe the second round in some more years, it will good to be prepared.)
Thanks, Krista! BTW, a friend explained that an aspect of those personality types like malignant narcissists and (unmanaged) borderlines etc., they colonize your headspace, even if you're fighting them. They keep you in an uproar (and in their thrall, negative or positive), so yes at a certain point you have to step away and find a way to fight the good fight without being swept away. It's doable, but you have to be really mindful about it.
It's so true, and especially about Trump - I hate that he hijacks me with so much anger and worry - and that just feeds into this energy-eating machine that fuels him. (Maybe not me personally, but the whole sum total. Any attention is good). I definitely have to find a way to Resist without losing my way, it's so hard to figure that one out. I know for one, I gotta steer clear of this toxic topic with my old mom. Ho hum.
Yes this fuels them, or in the case of borderlines, plants hooks with which they can manipulate you. Hard to not get swept away - these guys are pros at this and don't play by the same rules as normal people (they get power from this too). Best I can do for myself is to figure out small tangible actions and then step away and do something else. They want the whole world to be about them, but it's not, and stepping away is a way of telling yourself it's not. I would definitely take politics off the table as far as Dear Mother. And if she tries to pull you in, don't play.
I thoroughly enjoyed this article finding it both interesting and thought provoking. The “find your yes” was a great way to frame how to value your time.
“The dating apps train you to think less of humans rather than more, and to try to accept being treated badly in return” it is not just dating apps but the drive to polarized discourse with more extreme positions becoming the norm on the internet that has me occasionally disheartened.
Also. I really liked your “nonnegotiable qualities of kindness, integrity, consistency, for every person on every level of our lives”. I always try to live the Mahatma Gandhi “Be the change you wish to see”. More kindness, integrity and empathy are three of those things.
Indeed, to find it you first have to be it. So any projection outward of what you want has to start within. Thank you!
The polarization seems so calcified now too, I don't see how we get past this. It's scary.
I found my "no" footing later in life than most, but it has been extremely rewarding, and I now consider it to be a superpower.
"Andrew, I know you don't do weddings, but I wanted to formally invite you anyway" Is like one of my favorite things to hear, and I just heard it yesterday.
That's the best that you established that, especially around weddings! What a great idea. (Lucky me, no one I know seems to getting married anymore as we are in our divorcing days. But maybe the second round in some more years, it will good to be prepared.)
I think I last wore pants that aren't shorts or sleepypants like 3 years ago, and those were jeans, for what that's worth!
I'm jealous and need a [WOW] emoji!
Thanks, Krista! BTW, a friend explained that an aspect of those personality types like malignant narcissists and (unmanaged) borderlines etc., they colonize your headspace, even if you're fighting them. They keep you in an uproar (and in their thrall, negative or positive), so yes at a certain point you have to step away and find a way to fight the good fight without being swept away. It's doable, but you have to be really mindful about it.
It's so true, and especially about Trump - I hate that he hijacks me with so much anger and worry - and that just feeds into this energy-eating machine that fuels him. (Maybe not me personally, but the whole sum total. Any attention is good). I definitely have to find a way to Resist without losing my way, it's so hard to figure that one out. I know for one, I gotta steer clear of this toxic topic with my old mom. Ho hum.
Yes this fuels them, or in the case of borderlines, plants hooks with which they can manipulate you. Hard to not get swept away - these guys are pros at this and don't play by the same rules as normal people (they get power from this too). Best I can do for myself is to figure out small tangible actions and then step away and do something else. They want the whole world to be about them, but it's not, and stepping away is a way of telling yourself it's not. I would definitely take politics off the table as far as Dear Mother. And if she tries to pull you in, don't play.
I really appreciated the "find your yes" approach. Thank you for this article. :-)
Thank you, Krista with a K :) (me too!)