"But here’s a crazy idea to grapple with: the secret suspicion deep inside me that maybe the old novelist dreams don’t fit anymore, maybe I’m no longer that person who wants to shut out the world in order to sit at a laptop, and that might even be ok too."
This. The entire piece spoke to me but this made me want to sit at a coffeeshop for hours and just talk to you. I'm dancing inside this space and I love that I am not alone. It might all be ok if it looks different than what I thought it would look like or what I thought I wanted. This felt like it reached into my heart and asked, "But are you open to what might be?" Hot damn it's good to read your words again!
Krista, this is definitely my favorite so far, probably bc it’s most relatable to my life. While I would definitely call for help sooner than later on a survival show, and I can’t fix and upcycle like you, my creative life - and my own personal interior life - got derailed with kids, and now even more so single mothering, so the questions you pose here are so resonated deeply. The cave lady def had zero kids lol.
Oh thank you! I know some magical women manage to do big writing projects with kids, but I can't even imagine how. That part of my brain just died, but who knows if more money, time, nannies could have revived it. I like to daydream about who I can be at age 70 or so, should we live so long ;)
Happens I'm up in Ossining at Eric's right now. Pretty booked in the evenings, but will you be around next weekend or are you up in Woodstock? Not sure about the weekend myself, have to wait and see, but might work if you're around. Then I could show you myself :)
I followed you from your Facebook comment in the Substack group. Wow, I relate to so much here. I'm claustrophobic so I couldn't deal with a cave, but being alone on an island in a beach hut is my dream... sometimes.
so glad you found me. Yes, in reality maybe not so much the cave (windows necessary!) but imagining all that time...sigh. Hope you find your space! (I guess it can be Substack in a way).
Hi, Krista, Katie Parker (nee Torpie) from 10,000 years past! We are, strangely, living parallel lives right down to the true crime obsession and family fun time with "Alone." And you dream of prison, while I dream of the psych ward (art therapy? Ok!). Loved this. I always feel like when I have time, I don't have money, and vice versa. Creativity begins to feel like a luxury, as does introspection. When friends say things like "I just want a weekend away!" I think...what would THAT do? I need a year, in a cabin, in the snowy woods, so no one would want to even visit. This cave lady is living my dream.
So nice to hear from you, funny about our parallel lives but sorry this means we are both experiencing this creative/procreation rift! Oooh maybe the psych ward is a better idea than prison, maybe I'll move there instead ;) I did see you on FB in what looks like your happy place full of farm animals, I hope that helps! Thanks for reading and sharing.
"But here’s a crazy idea to grapple with: the secret suspicion deep inside me that maybe the old novelist dreams don’t fit anymore, maybe I’m no longer that person who wants to shut out the world in order to sit at a laptop, and that might even be ok too."
This. The entire piece spoke to me but this made me want to sit at a coffeeshop for hours and just talk to you. I'm dancing inside this space and I love that I am not alone. It might all be ok if it looks different than what I thought it would look like or what I thought I wanted. This felt like it reached into my heart and asked, "But are you open to what might be?" Hot damn it's good to read your words again!
oh that is lovely, thank you!! "Dancing inside this space," yes! You are not alone!
Krista, this is definitely my favorite so far, probably bc it’s most relatable to my life. While I would definitely call for help sooner than later on a survival show, and I can’t fix and upcycle like you, my creative life - and my own personal interior life - got derailed with kids, and now even more so single mothering, so the questions you pose here are so resonated deeply. The cave lady def had zero kids lol.
Oh thank you! I know some magical women manage to do big writing projects with kids, but I can't even imagine how. That part of my brain just died, but who knows if more money, time, nannies could have revived it. I like to daydream about who I can be at age 70 or so, should we live so long ;)
You do know Krista that Sleepy Hollow has its own Cave drawings in the Preserve?
Under a bridge adjacent to the Pocantico and close to the OCA.
oh my goodness, I did not. I must go!
Happens I'm up in Ossining at Eric's right now. Pretty booked in the evenings, but will you be around next weekend or are you up in Woodstock? Not sure about the weekend myself, have to wait and see, but might work if you're around. Then I could show you myself :)
I followed you from your Facebook comment in the Substack group. Wow, I relate to so much here. I'm claustrophobic so I couldn't deal with a cave, but being alone on an island in a beach hut is my dream... sometimes.
so glad you found me. Yes, in reality maybe not so much the cave (windows necessary!) but imagining all that time...sigh. Hope you find your space! (I guess it can be Substack in a way).
Hi, Krista, Katie Parker (nee Torpie) from 10,000 years past! We are, strangely, living parallel lives right down to the true crime obsession and family fun time with "Alone." And you dream of prison, while I dream of the psych ward (art therapy? Ok!). Loved this. I always feel like when I have time, I don't have money, and vice versa. Creativity begins to feel like a luxury, as does introspection. When friends say things like "I just want a weekend away!" I think...what would THAT do? I need a year, in a cabin, in the snowy woods, so no one would want to even visit. This cave lady is living my dream.
So nice to hear from you, funny about our parallel lives but sorry this means we are both experiencing this creative/procreation rift! Oooh maybe the psych ward is a better idea than prison, maybe I'll move there instead ;) I did see you on FB in what looks like your happy place full of farm animals, I hope that helps! Thanks for reading and sharing.