Punk Rock Stutter

When your flaws are bad-ass

Author Darcey Steinke is a minister’s daughter in the stereotypical ways—she revolted against rules and religion as a teen and has since written razor sharp fiction with characters as fierce and riveting as herself, and more recently a book about menopause. I came to know her—and read all her books to date—when I took her class at the MFA program at the New School, and then chose her as my senior thesis advisor. At that point she had an elevated title in the main office and seemed an unlikely administrator (if we’re going by stereotypes)—in a band, with tats and cool jeans and heavy metal tees, and always with a good hair cut. And sometimes, she stuttered.

Once, she was part of a faculty reading showcase I attended in the New School auditorium. Though about 20 years ago, the memory of her part of that evening has really endured because of the outcome. Her intro was a little nerve-wracking as she could barely make it through a sentence without getting stuck on a syllable with a pronounced stutter that stretched out time, more than I knew her to ever do in class. It’s like watching someone you can’t help and just sitting there panicking for them, face reddening. My face maybe, but not Darcey’s. She had a routine apparently and it worked like magic. She just said, matter-of-factly, something to the effect of:

“Oh this, it’s just my stutter. I consider it sort of punk rock.”

And just that like, the stutter was gone. She was able to read her whole excerpt without so much as a few stuck consonants. I was kind of amazed, and the message is what truly stuck: Just own it.

Being honest about your warts of whatever sort is the hardest part but off-like-a-bandaid and then you start to heal from the exposure. The honesty itself becomes the more notable trait, your empowered confidence. You develop wart-pride. Another grad school moment I mentioned recently was the bearded lady who visited my Freak class. By the end of her little speech, we were all in her thrall. She was beautiful! She told the tale of her puberty transition and how at first she was at war with her hair growing in places no teen girl should have to deal with, but as she got older and got tired of obsessive depilation, she let it do what it intended. She embraced it. She became her true self, and she felt at peace—and developed this whole side life as a performer earning money from her proud display of her difference.

Then there’s me, turning my scars from a thing of shame into a butterfly-like wingspan of Fibonacci spirals across my chest, as I wrote about recently here.

Frida Kahlo, “The Wounded Deer” 1938, CC BY-SA 4.0

All of this got me wanting to compile a big list of famous, successful people—contemporary and historical—who suffered some hidden or obvious major or minor “flaw” or disability that in many cases becomes their calling card. I would argue they might even be famous or successful because of that very thing that may have at first seemed a hindrance; perhaps it made them hustle harder or inspired them to get started on that particular path in the first place. And in any case, it definitely makes them cooler and more relatable to us commoners with our own weird ticks and traits. There’s no end of the examples you could add to this list, so I welcome your additions in the comments. But here’s my quick summary, pulled from every corner of the Internet:

Fashion model Melanie Gaydos has ectodermal dysplasia (preventing her teeth, pores, nails, cartilage and bones from developing), is almost blind, and bald due to alopecia—this all makes her very sought after for her obviously unique look.

Singer Seal suffers from a type of lupus—discoid lupus erythematosus (DLE), a chronic skin condition that causes inflammation and scarring of the skin exposed to the sun.

Singer Lilly Allen has a third nipple.

Kate Bosworth has one blue eye and one brown, a condition called heterochromia. While people often assumed David Bowie had this as well, he actually suffered an eye injury during a schoolyard fight that caused his pupil to be permanently dilated.

Andy Garcia was apparently born with a conjoined twin attached to his shoulder, having a scar on his shoulder from the removal surgery.

There’s the trademark oft-broken nose of Owen Wilson.

And the cleft lip scar of Joaquin Phoenix, which might also just be a scar. In Phoenix fashion, he doesn’t talk about it.

Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking was diagnosed at 22 with a rare form of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a motor neuron disease (MND). Confined to a wheelchair, Hawking used a synthetic voice to dictate his books and share his wisdom with the world.

Kyle Maynard, congenital amputee born with no limbs, is a mixed martial artist who became the first quadruple amputee to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro with no prosthetics.

Mathematician John Nash’s story of living with schizophrenia was depicted in the movie A Beautiful Mind.

Andrea Bocelli, Italian tenor, was diagnosed at birth with congenital glaucoma and lost all sight by the age of 12. Stevie wonder was blind at 6.

Artist Frida Kahlo contracted polio at 6 which made one leg thinner than the other. She took up painting while recovering in a body cast for a year from a horrific trolley accident that left her with a broken spine and pelvis and a pierced abdomen. Her wounds became the subject of her most sought after self-portraits.

Keira Knightly, Tom Cruise, Danny Glover, Magic Johnson—all have dyslexia.

Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter star, has a form of dyspraxia, a neurological condition that interferes with motor skills, memory, judgment, mental processing, and other cognitive skills.

Itzhak Perlman, violinist, also had polio as a kid which has him using crutches or motorized scooters to get around.

Dan Aykroyd has Tourette and Asperger syndromes.

Actress Millie Bobby Brown is deaf in one ear. Gaten Matarazzo, also of the hit Stranger Things series, has cleidocranial dysplasia, a trait affecting his teeth and bones that he shares with his character. He uses dentures because of his condition, and he uses his fame to raise awareness about it.

Kaiser Wilhem II, the last Emperor of Germany who abdicated in 1918 following the defeat of Germany in WWI, had a little withered arm.

Helen Keller, was deaf and blind from illness at 19 months old, but that didn’t stop her from mastering ways to communicate to the masses, write books, and become a huge advocate for people with disabilities.

Van Gogh, quintessential tortured artist, suffered from severe depression and sliced off the bottom half of his ear, making another prized wounded self-portrait for the ages.

Composer Ludwig van Beethoven began to lose his hearing at age 28. By 44, his hearing loss was complete, most likely caused by compression of the eighth cranial nerve associated with Paget’s disease. Still, he continued to compose masterpieces.

I leave you with some wise words from the great Kahlo, also distinctly unibrowed in a punk rock way only she could pull off:

“Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly?”

and

“Passion is the bridge that takes you from pain to change.”

In what ways have you laid bare your flaws and been better for it? Who else would you add to this list?