Introvert's Outreach: Julie Vick

The 10-Questionnaire for Inward-Bound Creatives

It’s time for another off-schedule, bonus round of Introvert’s Outreach, where I toss 10 questions at the next inward-bound creative who’s willing to play along. See the others so far in the series here, and, subscribers: stay tuned for my regular weekly post this weekend.

Now I happily welcome Julie Vick, whose book title alone makes her a shoe-in for this:

Julie Vick is the author of Babies Don’t Make Small Talk (So Why Should I?): The Introvert’s Guide to Surviving Parenthood. Her writing has appeared in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Real Simple, and more. She writes the Substack Humor Me, about humor and writing.

INTROVERT’S OUTREACH: JULIE VICK

1. How do you personally define “introvert”?

I define it as someone who gets drained by busier environments and socializing and feels energized by alone time and quieter environments.

2. How does being an introvert manifest itself in your life, and to what degree?

It manifests in a lot of ways. Over the years I’ve realized that I do best in a quieter workspace and with a job that doesn’t require me to be “on” all the time so for me that has meant teaching a mix of in-person and online classes in my day job. 

As a parent, it’s helped me to be aware of how being overscheduled and certain environments drain me so I try to limit the things we sign up for (and the number of loud trampoline gyms I visit). I also just generally try to keep weekends more low-key since weekdays can be chaotic but that is sometimes hard to do with kid activities.

3. When did you first become aware that you’re an introvert?

I don’t think I really understood what the term meant until I was in my 20s. I remember reading this article in The Atlantic that explained introversion and it was a lightbulb moment. I’d been shy as a kid and got called quiet a lot, but hadn’t really understood the idea that introverts are drained by socializing and recharge with alone time and I really identified with the term. I also started to view some of the introvert traits in a more positive way than I had previously.

4. Do you take pride in your introverted status and/or is it something you struggle with?

I do take pride in it but it does still come with some struggles. A lot of times I would really rather stay at home than go do something so it takes some effort to get myself out of the house even when I know I will probably enjoy the thing I’m going to.

5. How does being an introvert affect your relationships and social choices?

I am definitely a person who prefers deeper relationships with a few close friends to surface relationships with a lot of people. So I do make choices about what I say “yes” to based on that. My husband is also an introvert which is nice because I think he gets the whole needing a lot of downtime side of it. But I know people who have extroverted partners and they do things like a lot of talking at parties and that sounds helpful at times. But then again, I’m not really going to a lot of parties these days! 

6. How does being an introvert impact and inform your creative life?

I’ve had to learn how I work best in getting writing done as an introvert. I typically need a quieter environment to really focus and if I’m trying to multitask it usually doesn’t do well for my creativity. I’ve also learned the importance of other things like taking long walks or finding other quiet spaces to think through a particular writing problem I’m having.  

I also really value friendships with other writers and since a lot of writers are also introverted I feel like we often get each other in ways that are really great. And even though it completely drains me, I really enjoy meeting online writing friends in real life at conferences (I just can’t do it all the time!).

7. Do you think you’re a creative person to begin with, or a more effective one, because of your introversion?

I do think living in my own head a lot helps inform my creativity. Introverts often have a very involved inner world and that inner world can definitely be helpful in coming up with ideas and writing creatively. I am also okay with spending a lot of time alone and I think that does help with the type of writing that I do.

8. How do you navigate self-promotion as an introvert?

It’s definitely not my favorite thing but I’ve just tried to find ways that feel more comfortable to me. I think I’m actually more comfortable promoting myself in online spaces than I am in real life because I have a chance to think through what I’m putting out there and it feels less exposed to me than having to tell someone about my writing in person. But I’ve also been using social media as a writer for a long time and I remember when I first started sharing freelance and humor pieces and jokes online it did feel a lot more exposed.

I also know that things like talking to the camera in a TikTok video don’t feel comfortable to me so I don’t do them, but I can share a joke or a snippet of my book on social media. A lot of it feels like it comes down to what feels authentic for me. I try to find ways to share that don’t feel fake or like I’m trying to be someone I’m not. 

I also have learned to take breaks because I think self-promotion for introverts can be draining in the same way that walking into a party with a bunch of strangers and having to make small talk all night would be. So limiting how I use self-promotion tools like social media helps.

9. How do you strike a balance between requiring solitude/retreat to be creative and the desire to engage with the world that might inspire your creativity?

I think I just try to make sure I’m doing some of both. I remember an undergrad creative writing professor recommending we get out into the world after undergrad before pursuing graduate work and that is what I ended up doing and I do think having different experiences informs my creative life. 

Now I don’t lack for ideas (I have a Word doc with potential writing ideas that probably has over 100 snippets of ideas on it) but finding the time to write between my teaching job and parenting feels harder. 

10. Does your introversion ever get embedded as an actual theme or message in your creative output?

Well, I wrote a whole book about it so, yes! But beyond that, I’ve definitely written shorter freelance pieces about it and have also mentioned it in personal essays or humor pieces. I think writing about introversion can also be great because it can connect me with other like-minded introverts, something I always enjoy. 

---

Thank you so much, Julie, for taking the time for this fun thought experiment with me! I’m wondering if I too read that article in The Atlantic back in the day, because I remember having the same lightbulb moment—and it was so liberating. Finally knowing the name of the container we fit in can be such a gift.

Want to do my questionnaire? Please reach out to krista@sleepyhollowink.com. I also welcome fresh question ideas and other ideal candidates.